Monthly Archives: March 2013

In Praise of Whole Wheat Bread Men

  The Mister is currently out to dinner with a former not-girlfriend-but-mutual-crush who has just published ┬áher third novel to much acclaim. I am sitting on the couch blogging in my slippers and trying to recover from the gut-wrenching Chinese

Posted in marriage, relationships, the MIster

How to Sprain Your Face Not Using Oral Sex

Here’s something I learned this week: When you tell people you’ve pulled a muscle in your jaw almost every single one of them will make a blow job joke. Except the people at your dentist’s office. There, they will look

Posted in Uncategorized

Not As bad As All That

I met my friends Jennifer and Karie for dinner last night and the first thing Jennifer said to me as we sat down was, “What are you talking about? You look great!” She also added an empathetic fuck you to

Posted in Uncategorized

How Not to Handle Rejection

It’s been a big week over here at the homestead. And by big, I mean painful and cringey and slightly embarrassing. But I am getting ahead of myself. You should know, first, that I have been looking for a j-o-b,

Posted in job hunt, Oliver and Maggie, Sunset

I’m back. I’m fat. Get used to it.

So, I haven’t done this in a while. Like, you know, not for a big company. And so much has changed since we last spoke. So much. But I’d rather not go into it all right at this moment on

Posted in baby center, life